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Some good aforisms for people that don’t want them

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Directly from the DJs mouth…

Those rules for success, life, love and many other areas are popular today. And much of it is ridiculous and sometimes downright condescending. It’s sometimes annoying to hear all those persistently happy people telling you that “you can do anything…” or “it’s all about attitude”. So here are my rules, that mainly apply to me, as I’ve learnt them through life. Sometimes I know them full well but fail to abide by them. This is good as I afterwards know why I should have. Actually, they’re more aforisms than rules, but I didn’t know that when I started writing this post.

If you find them useful, amusing or don’t disagree too much with them, I kindly ask you to steal them… No need for attribution or credit. I’m just a middle aged man who learnt something through life. And the list is incomplete.

  1. Don’t be an asshole.
  2. If you listen – you win.
  3. Look over your notes, the documentation or your work one more time before completing something.
  4. … or don’t. Experimentation is fun! Just make sure you can handle the catastrophies afterwards. If not, rule 3 applies over rule 4.
  5. Words are either cheap – or painfully expensive. If you don’t know which is which, speak less.
  6. You have to know the rules, before breaking them. – My mother.
  7. You’re free – so are the consequences.
  8. Respect other people – This follows from rule 1 – but no need to necessary respect their views. They don’t necessary respect yours.
  9. You enemy’s enemy IS NOT by implication your friend.
  10. You see, but you do not observe. That distinction is clear. – Sherlock Holmes
  11. Doing bad unto evil is not good. Stopping evil is probably for the better.
  12. No spine – no respect. Sorry, I don’t make the rules… Don’t be mad, please 🙁 <= You see the problem right here now don’t you? 🙂
  13. Choose your fights. If you can, choose as few as possible. Fighting is just useless most of the time. You’re probably better of watching the telly.
  14. Sometimes you must fight. Save your energy for those occasions.
  15. If you can’t change others, listening to them is probably very valuable for you.
  16. If you constantly criticise yourself – you get better – or fail! The poison is defined by the dosage.
  17. If you make someone happy, you get happy. If you make them angry, you get angry.
  18. Rule 17 doesn’t apply to sociopaths. For them, it’s the other way around.
  19. The best microphone for recording the Accordion, Yoko Ono, Justin Beiber or Midi-Maxi-Efti is one cut off a little bit above the cable connector. (Based on Wendy Carlos audio recording guide)
  20. They say you should always wear sun block. It’s all well and so, just don’t drink it, mmmmkay?
  21. Vaccines are great, because it’s nice to be alive.
  22. If they tell you to think freely and then tell you how to not do it WRONG, you are probably not being taught to be free in the first place.
  23. Ideas are great to have. But even better to kill.
  24. What is so good about starting things, if you don’t complete them?
  25. What is so good about completing things, if they weren’t worth starting in the first place?
  26. Learn from the experienced, then apply it to your own life in order to not do their mistakes… Or not… You know, not doing it gives you their experience. There’s always that.
  27. Winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win. If you don’t win and don’t quit, you need to learn the “sunken cost fallacy”.
  28. You’re often wrong…
  29. … especially when you just understood something…
  30. Schadefreude is fun, until it’s your misfortune they’re laughing at.
  31. “Do unto others…” is a good idea unless you’re a suicidal serial killer.
  32. There are those who have an additional problem for every solution you propose to the problem they told you about in the first place.
  33. If it can be done, ask yourself: should it?
  34. If it can’t, ask yourself: what do I learn from trying?
  35. You regret everything you didn’t do before regretting what you did. But in the end you regret them both. Mostly the former.
  36. Learn to lose. The last place is not the “most recent winner”.
  37. There’s nothing bad about avoiding risks. It’s a good survival strategy. But you must know what you lose by not trying.
  38. … And you never fully will…
  39. If you believe that you will fail – so you shall – unless you’re overcome by some healthy fear of death.
  40. “It’s not paranoia when they’re out to get you” – Moment 22.
  41. When the world is out to get you, paranoia is just a natural defensive reflex – Skippy.
  42. Why not try PRO-noia sometimes? Assume everyone is talking about you – and LOVE you to bits. – Anders Sandberg.
  43. Not even god could keep paradise secure – Erik Zalitis.
  44. Avoid falling to much in love with ideologies, they’re often abusive partners.
  45. Radio is superior to TV.
  46. If they talk shit about people when you’re in the room, guess who they will be talking about once you leave.
  47. An insult followed by “… Nah, I was just joking” is a red flag accompanied by a blaring klaxon.
  48. If you ask someone if you did well, ignore their answer, but look if they’re shaking their heads when they answer “Yes”.
  49. The Beatles are greater than Rolling stones. That’s just how it is.
  50. It sucks when people don’t learn from history and then repeat it, as you have to watch it unfold.
  51. Wise words can be said by unwise people. If so, seek the source. If they’re the source, are they still unwise? Especially if you agree with them? Maybe they are, and then maybe you are as well… Just saying…
  52. Intelligence and ability correlate with success…
  53. … as does knowing the right people.
  54. … being rich is kinda good too.
  55. They invented a “left wing” and a “right wing” in the political field. That’s great, now you can fight with your friends about pointless things. You want to change the world? Try actually becoming politically active instead.
  56. Every village has an idiot and every work place an eccentric weirdo. If you don’t know who it is where you live, I got some bad news for you…
  57. Worried about strange people? If they’re not into harming others, they’re probably worth knowing.
  58. A gun is always loaded, a mike is always on and your future wife/husband is probably reading your next tweet.
  59. A fool and his money will soon part ways – but look at all the cool stuff you can buy!
  60. Shrouds have no pockets, but you get to keep whatever you give to others – your reputation that is.
  61. Lack of planning is also planning – the same way that a lack of sex is also a way of ensuring that humanity procreate – it just doesn’t involve you.
  62. If you don’t plan ahead, every venture will be an adventure.

Yeah, I probably inadvertently stole some of those ideas. So should you!

A pox on all your Amigas!

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As I’m into the areas of IT-security and retro computing… Here’s a podcast with me talking about old viruses from the 80s and 90s. It features cool music from the Amiga.

Viruses are no fun, but we have had to contend with them since the 70s. The Amiga had its share of them like SCA, Bytebandit, Saddam Hussein, Lamer exterminator and some others. Some just wrote cute messages, whereas others deliberately or by mistake destroyed your data. Let DJ Daemon take you back to the 80s and guide you through the less popular parts of Amiga history.

00:00​ Amiga Flashback – show intro
00:13​ DJ Daemon – introduces the episode
00:35​ Firage – Buns and Guns
02:40​ DJ Daemon – speaks about Amiga computer viruses
03:32​ Radix – * CoLoUrS *
08:45​ DJ Daemon – speaks about the SCA virus
10:06​ Reed Richards – Devoted
14:56​ DJ Daemon – speaks about the ByteBandit virus
15:58​ CRD – Chordian remix
17:51​ DJ Daemon – speaks about the Saddam virus
19:20​ Finwave – Just Do It (F/U)
23:47​ DJ Daemon – concludes by saying it’s not an Amiga-thing
25:10​ FearofDark – SurfingOnASineWave
30:01​ DJ Daemon – discusses viruses destroying hardware
31:42​ Elwood – After Hours
35:07​ DJ Daemon speaks 29s
35:36​ Maikel Yeremy – The Wayfarers Arrive
38:34​ DJ Daemon speaks 34s
39:07​ JaseChong – Kingdom Skies
43:41​ DJ Daemon speaks 37s
44:17​ Maikel Yeremy – Teller 1
46:30​ DJ Daemon speaks 39s
47:09​ Nescio – Dreaming of you
49:36​ DJ Daemon speaks 33s
50:08​ AceMan – Vintage Groove
53:57​ DJ Daemon speaks 28s
54:24​ Velvet of Amb and Tdr – Sternzeit
56:41​ DJ Daemon speaks 11s

Cyberdeckarna på nya äventyr

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Passande “hakish” bakgrund.

(This text is in Swedish only)

Min polare och medkonspiratör i IT-säkerhetspodden, Mattias Jadesköld, har nu blivit författare. I dagarna har hans första bok, Cyberdeckarna och Gisslanprogrammet släppts i bokhandeln (I alla fall på Internet). Så man kan antingen köpa den som en fysisk bok eller som ebok.

Platsen är Stockholm i ett framtida Sverige som är både nära och på ett visst sätt avlägset. Hackare är överallt, men nätet är inte längre garanterat. Ständiga strömavbrott gör att man måste leva både online och enligt gamla principer från 1800-talet. Informationen är knapphändig. I denna eklektiska blandning av fjärrstyrda djur som är AI-hybrider och gamla tanter som tvättar kläder vid stranden, finns det mycket att undersöka.

Syskonen London och Linus får i denna bok uppdraget att rädda en båt som drabbats av ett datorprogram som håller hela verksamheten gisslan. London åker dit för att undersöka, medan Linus sköter bakgrundsarbetet. I bakgrunden hjälper hackergurun, en avdankad lärare som skrivit “NeoICE”, en legendarisk programvara som kan låta dig hacka det mesta.

London är en mästermanipulatör med en silvertunga, som kan prata med alla och säga rätt saker för att få fram information, manipulera andra eller skaffa kontakter. Linus är en smart kille som kan nörda ner sig i det mesta, men saknar en hel del av den sociala förmåga hans syster är så bra på. Tillsammans skapar de exakt den duo som behövs för att gå till botten med det mystiska som pågår i staden.

Boken riktar sig mot tonåringar och barn och är en modern version av 50-talets deckare där barn löser gåtor. Det är knappast Poirot, Sherlock Holmes eller Miss Marple – men det är inte tanken heller. Hela konceptet är riktigt kul och känns modernt på ett sätt som jag antar appellerar på de som är unga idag.

Jag har hjälpt till lite med framtagningen av karaktärerna och en del av det tekniska.

Kan köpas här:
https://www.bod.se/bokshop/cyberdeckarna-gisslanprogrammet-mattias-jadeskoeld-9789180072632

This Old Cabin – in full retro!

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Retro computing, gentleman style. First episode features a Commodore SX-64, horse back riding and Amigas.

Björn speaks with a very British style voice, even though he has a distinct accent.

This is awesome. I’m highly recommending you follow his channel…

What the heck, Microsoft

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Master Bowser? That’s just weird…

Ok, speling errors are fun. And Microsoft delivers the goods… The master Browser is such an old technology that it simply seems to be abandoned by the people in Redmond.

Caveat emptor: PastBook – giving your pictures away

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mark zuckerberg - Imgflip
As does Google, I guess…

TLDR; Don’t log in to Pastbook or use it in anyway! They steal pretty much all of your data and will sell it to god knows who. If you do: get ready to be bombarded with mail telling you to buy the photoalbum from them… Or else… Really nasty site.

As I was idly surfing on Facebook, a post told me that my 10 year photobook was ready. I should have known better (with a site like you) and NOT clicked on it. I thought it was one of those Facebook memory slide shows where you’re shown pictures with a random friend on Facebook.

When I clicked on it, an authorization dialog came up and told me to login with my Facebook account. This is a clear warning that it wasn’t Facebook I was going to. Being tired and unfocused I stupidly logged in by clicking the link. Terror struck me when I realized what I had done five seconds later. My photos were already spreading accross their site. I unauthorized them, but it was too late.

Their name (too live forever in infamy): www.pastbook.com.

That’s it… I’m boned… Yeah, I need help, to get rid of charlatans like you!

So as to what they want from your Facebook account? Pretty much everything.. No surprises there… And Mark O’ZuckerIsBorn doesn’t care.

It’s easier to list what they DON’T take from you. Click this picture if you’re not already dead inside…

SCREW FACEBOOK! PIECE OF GARBAGE SITE! MENTAL BLOODY DOPAMIN-RELEASE DRUG!!!

… And just when you thought it was safe to pop out of your bunker…

… Jay, another psychopath entrepeneur ready to sell your stuff…

46 today… Horray for me… Or something

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Me more than 40 years ago. A kid with way to big head phones for his head…. And why not? As bad as the head phones fit me, the dream of radio- and audioengineering did much better.

Today is my 46th birthday and I want to clear some rumours about me and that particular date. I’ve heard those lines so many times, this has to be sorted out now!

Question: “Oh, so you did get less gifts than other kids, then?”

Answer: No cookie for that observation. But remember just a cats believe they’re close to starvation because you haven’t fed them for 15 minutes, kids never think they get enough gifts at any time.

Me, on the other hand is totally over that, I can buy stuff every other day than the 24th of December since I get a steady paycheck and stores are open those days. I’m going to prove my point by pouring myself a Gin and Tonic, that I bought the Gin for a few days ago.

Question: “Your mother got quite the gift for christmas that year?”

Answer: Without bragging, I believe I was quite a thing for her. Parents do like their kids, so that’s a pretty easy guess. But that christmas actually more like gave her the gift of giving birth. It rates pretty high on the dolorimeter, so probably not the most happy moment until done. I love my mother and she loves me. But neither of us have to go through that “birth”-stuff again, which is all fine if you ask me.

Question: “Nobody remembers to congratulate you, then?”

Answer: True. I hated that as a kid. Then that Facebook thing came along and now people feel compelled to congratulate me, as the option to by mistake forget about it and then hope I don’t complain pretty much is gone. So… Not a big problem..

Question: “Another kid was born that day, right? (big smile)”

Answer: You’re Swedish, right? I also did this incorrect assumption, so I’m not holding it against you. But… You know… Just because us Swedes celebrate christmas eve instead of christmas day, doesn’t mean Mary had to reschedule Jesus birth. The son of god (citations needed) in fact was born on christmas day. What year? I dunno, what calendar? Julian or Gregorian? Should we take in account all the times we lost count of the dates in our history and just guess? Many questions, but the answers are alas out of my remit.

Hope this clears all this out and … a merry christmas to you and yours!

TTFN, Erik Zalitis.

Brilliance in Canadian humor

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I wanna go! I wanna go! Take me there now!!!!

In 2010, the prolific and unorthodox mind of Winston Rowntree created the comic that the picture above was taken from. It’s called “The museum of the theoretical“. The story of this strip is about a woman who finds the “Museum of the Theoretical” an outfit that deals in things that COULD have been. As for most of Rowntree’s creations, it is really a treat for the imagination.

The poster behind the woman who owns the exhibition shows the last Beatles album that COULD have been and it is titled “Imagine a photograph from a passing jet”. It is a brilliant joke.

We know that the members of the Beatles actually made songs in the last years of the band, that ended up on their solo albums like “All things must pass” from George Harrison and “Jealous Guy”/”Child of nature” from John Lennon. It also references the songs “Jet” from Paul McCartney, “Imagine” from John Lennon and “Photograph” from Ringo Starr.

But mr Rowntree (That’s not his real name by the way) continues to deliver as Beatles is a recurring theme within his comics.

Why is the future always in pastel? … And the past in greyish brown?

Tomorrow never knows follows the fictitious (I hope!) story of John Lennon being bothered by time travelers. He seems to be used to this kind of crap and simply ignores them.

Ah, Mr Gnik Nus, nice to metcha…

A->B Road (See what he made there?) is built around your life as the medley from the back side of legendary Beatles album Abbey Road. It points out that days and the need for sleep removes the impending feeling of doom that would be with us all the time if life was just an endless stretch of time leading up to the inevitable eternity of non-existence.

How many songs are hidden in this picture?
Yes! It does!

Musical Wheres uses cities as metaphores for well known bands. The image “alt”-texts are to die for in this picture:

Sure… Weren’t they related to “Plastic Ono band” somehow ?

You probably know just how much I love the original Twilight Zone TV-series, and mr Rowntree’s webcomic “Subnormality” seems to appeal to that mind set. You know philosophical drama with darkness and hope mixed.

He also drew stuff for Cracked.com, like this rather cynical take on the music industry.

And to end the discussion with something I do not agree with, but that is an interesting take on Beatles anyway:

The 5 Worst Kinds of Album Every Music Fan Has Bought
Oh, come on now… Source: Cracked.com

Ah… Now I get it!

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Bild

I’m no big fan of Halloween or the Swedish “All-helgona”. Visiting the graves of my relatives is a very fine tradition, but the whole “trick-or-treat”-thing is not only ignored by me, but I will simply not open the door.